A stance rather than a technique. We stop pushing at what is happening, let it be there, and discover it was never dangerous.
Listen to the Meditation
About This Practice
Anxiety feeds on resistance. We grasp at feeling better and push away the sensations we do not want, and the effort of doing that generates its own tension. The emotion gets louder, the body responds more strongly, and we take that as proof we were right to be worried.
The fear also layers. First we fear the situation. Then we fear the racing heart the situation produced. Then we fear the thought about the racing heart. Each layer is a response to the one before it.
This practice interrupts that by doing the opposite of what instinct suggests. You let whatever is present be present. Thoughts race, let them race. A sensation arrives, let it arrive. You are not fixing anything and you are not making it go away.
What happens is almost anticlimactic. The intensity builds for a while, plateaus, then fades on its own, because nothing was feeding it. Do that a few times and you learn something the reassurance of others could never teach you: these are experiences that come and go, and you are safe.
That is how trust gets built, and trust is what fear runs out of room in. The stance moves in stages, from tolerating what is here, to allowing it, and eventually to welcoming it.
Micro Practice: Three Breaths
When you notice yourself bracing against something, take three breaths.
- Breathe and settle on the breath itself.
- Breathe and notice where you are pushing an experience away or pulling one closer.
- Breathe and let it be there, trusting that you can handle what comes.