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Glossary
Some ordinary words are used here in a specific way. A feeling is not an emotion, a reaction is not an action. Every term in the…
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Acceptance
Acceptance is making peace with how little we control. It answers anger, because anger is what a thwarted attempt at control feels like from the inside.
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Value
Value is the belief that we matter, independent of achievement or approval. It answers shame, and the route to it runs through self-compassion rather than doing…
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Trust
Trust is the belief that we can handle whatever happens. It answers fear, and psychology calls it self-efficacy: a record built from evidence rather than a…
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Actions
Actions are the behaviors we think through before we carry them out. The only level where change is made, and the one we use to reprogram…
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Reactions
Reactions are the behaviors we learned so thoroughly that they no longer need us. This is the first level we can actually reach, which is what…
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Reflexes
Reflexes are the behaviors our body carries out without asking us first. Involuntary, automatic and unconscious, they were never ours to control, which is useful to…
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Which Step Do I Need Right Now?
Knowing the four steps and knowing which one you need today are different things. Four questions that tell you where the process is stuck, and what…
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Open and Allowing
Discomfort runs on resistance. Stop pushing at it and it runs out of fuel. The least intuitive move in the method, and one of the most…
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Skewed Thinking
Thinking goes off track in a small number of predictable ways. Catastrophizing, mind reading, discounting the positive. Naming the pattern is most of the work, because…
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The 5-Whys
The belief causing the trouble is rarely the first one you find. Ask why four or five times in a row and you arrive somewhere you…
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What Your Brain Is Optimized For
Your brain was built to keep you alive, not to make you happy. Criticism sticks, praise slides off, and rest feels unearned. That is the design…
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Why Anxiety Feeds on Itself
Sometimes the alarm will not turn off because the thing setting off the alarm is the alarm itself. How a normal stress response turns into a…
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Nothing Is Broken
Anxiety is not evidence of a defect. It is evidence of a system running correctly on inaccurate information, and information can be corrected. Why the label…
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The Three Themes: Trust, Value, and Acceptance
Every difficult emotion, however complicated it feels, comes back to trust, value, or acceptance. Fear points to a lack of trust, shame to a lack of…
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What Your Emotions Are Telling You
Your emotions are a readout of where your well-being currently stands. A difficult one is not a malfunction, it is a signal, and the intensity tells…
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Feelings and Emotions Are Not the Same Thing
A feeling is a body sensation. An emotion is that sensation with a meaning attached. Two people with the same racing heartbeat can be thrilled or…
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Contact
Get in touch Contact Us Have a question, or want to work together? Send us a note and we’ll get back to you. Optimistic Brain Inc.Toronto,…
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4-Steps™ Programs
Professional development programs built on the 4-Steps™ approach: an introductory interactive learning session, regular guided practice, a facilitated reflection session, and continuing education applied to real…
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Understanding Well-Being
Understanding Emotions → Understanding Well-Being Understanding Well-Being Every decision our brain makes is trying to protect or improve our well-being. Our emotions tell us how well…