Reference
Glossary
Some ordinary words are used here in a specific way.
A feeling is not the same as an emotion. A reaction is not the same as an action. Those distinctions do real work, so this page sets each one out in a sentence, with a link to where it is explained properly.
The Process
How an experience becomes a behavior.
Experience
Everything our senses report, both from the world around us and from inside our own body. It is the input to the whole process.
Awareness
The brain’s assessment of what is currently happening, before any meaning has been attached to it.
Meaning
What an experience is taken to signify, arrived at by placing it in the context of everything we have lived through before.
Recognition
Awareness and meaning combined. Recognizing something is knowing both that it is there and what it is.
Concept
A cluster of linked information built from related experiences. Our concept of a dog holds every dog we have met.
Belief
A concept we have become certain enough about that we expect the future to match it. Beliefs decide what an experience means.
Frame
The psychological term for a concept acting as a lens: the mental structure through which an experience is given its meaning.
Decision
Belief and emotion combined. What something means, weighed against how it is affecting us, is how a response gets chosen.
Feelings and Emotions
The distinction most often collapsed, and the most useful one to keep.
Feeling
A body sensation. A racing heart, a tight chest, a churning stomach. Nothing has been decided about it yet.
Emotion
A feeling that has been given meaning. The same racing heart is excitement before a rollercoaster and dread before an interview.
Intensity
How strongly an emotion registers. It reports how significant the brain currently believes the threat to be, which is not always proportionate.
Mood
Everything running at once. Our overall emotional state, and so a reading of our overall well-being right now.
Well-Being
What our emotions are measuring. Emotions are the gauge; well-being is the thing on the other end of it.
Negativity Bias
The brain’s habit of weighting threats more heavily than good news. Useful for survival, unhelpful for an accurate picture of our life.
The Three Themes
The three beliefs underneath every difficult emotion.
Trust
The belief that we can handle what comes. It answers fear, and it is built from evidence rather than reassurance.
Value
The belief that we matter, independent of achievement or approval. It answers shame.
Acceptance
Making peace with how little we control. It answers anger, which is what a thwarted attempt at control feels like.
Most emotions are combinations. Overwhelm usually has all three running at once, which is why it feels so total.
Behaviors
Three kinds, and only one of them is a choice.
Reflex
An involuntary behavior we were born with. Heartbeat, digestion, blinking. Never ours to control.
Reaction
A behavior learned so thoroughly it no longer needs us. Driving, walking, snapping at someone. This is the level we can reach.
Action
A behavior we thought through first. Effortful, deliberate, and the only level where change is made.
Autopilot
Running on learned reactions without conscious oversight. Efficient, and where most of the day happens.
Avoidance
Steering away from what feels threatening. It relieves the fear immediately and confirms the belief that caused it.
The Brain and the Mind
The few technical terms worth knowing, in plain language.
The Mind
The part of us that can observe the process running. Recognizing that we are recognizing.
Executive Function
Deliberate thought: planning, imagining, learning. The only level of processing that requires consciousness.
Prefrontal Cortex
The region at the front of the brain that handles deliberate thought. The brain’s executive centre.
Neocortex
The region that runs learned skills and reactions, which is why so much of the day needs no conscious attention.
Amygdala Region
The older, faster part of the brain that handles reflexes and immediate survival, well before we have thought anything.
Neuroplasticity
The brain’s ability to rewire itself. Repeated patterns become physical pathways, which is how habits form and how they can be replaced.
The Method
The four skills, and the practices that go with them.
4-Steps™
Mindfulness, Compassion, Insight, Reframing, practised in that order. Each step makes the next one possible.
Mindfulness
Noticing what is happening as it happens, without immediately reacting to it. Step one, because nothing else can start without it.
Compassion
Meeting what we notice with kindness rather than judgment. Without it, awareness just gives the inner critic better material.
Insight
Finding the belief underneath the emotion. Not why we feel bad, but what we are believing that makes this feel the way it does.
Reframing
Shifting a belief toward something better supported by evidence. When the belief moves, the emotion moves with it.
Open and Allowing
Letting an uncomfortable experience be present instead of fighting it. Resistance is what keeps discomfort fuelled.
The 5-Whys
Asking why of each answer until you reach a belief about yourself rather than about the situation.
Self-Efficacy
The psychological term for trust in our own capability. A record of what we have handled, not a personality trait.
Seeing How They Fit Together
Definitions on their own only go so far.
These terms describe one process, not a list of separate ideas. Reading the process end to end is what makes them click.