Breathing paired with kindness toward yourself, so that looking honestly at what you find becomes possible.
Listen to the Meditation
About This Practice
Becoming self-aware is harder than it sounds. When we start hearing our own thoughts and uncovering what we actually believe, we are often not pleased with what turns up.
Self-compassion is what makes that survivable. It lets us see a difficulty as part of being human rather than as evidence of some private defect, and that changes what we do next. Instead of retreating from what we found, we can stay with it and work.
The research points the same way. People who treat themselves with compassion are more likely to believe change is possible and to actually attempt it, and they tend to be kinder to others as well. Self-criticism does the opposite. It feels like motivation and behaves like a brake.
Pairing this with the breath matters too. Steady breathing settles the body, and a settled body makes it easier to look at something uncomfortable without being swept into it.
This is Compassion, the second step, and it is the one that makes the two after it possible.
Micro Practice: Three Breaths
When something difficult lands, take three breaths.
- Breathe and become present.
- Breathe and observe what is around you.
- Breathe and recognize that there is a challenge here, and that you will be all right.