Emotions Trigger Actions / Re-actions
Active beliefs cause your emotions. Your emotions trigger the actions you take and the re-actions that your body initiates. Sometimes your actions are deliberate and conscious and sometimes they are unconscious. All your actions are the result of you trying to get to a better feeling state. You are either trying to maintain a feeling and act so you do not feel worse or you are trying to feel better. This may sound counter intuitive because we see people act badly all around us.
It is important that we understand our emotions because they give us insight about the stories that we are telling ourselves at any given moment. Since our emotions play out in our bodies it’s important that we use our awareness of our bodies to understand our emotions and thus our active stories.
Practicing body scan meditations and emotions noting meditations help us understand and decipher what is really happening. The more we practice the better we become at understanding all of our emotions – not just the major ones.
Why do people act the way that they do?
There are only 2 motivations for peoples reactions: To FEEL BETTER and/or to NOT FEEL WORSE. Essentially the actions we take and the reactions of our bodies are in an effort to get us to a better feeling state. This includes survival, soothing of a hurt, preventing a hurt from getting worse etc…
- You smile because you believe people will perceive you as a happy person and therefore treat you better.
- You look up and make eye contact because you know this makes you more appealing to others.
- You are social with others because that makes you even more happy by being with friends and others you love.
- You walk with a spring in your step because you have energy and that energy is appealing to others and will attract others with the same energy.
- Your body is relaxed and calm.
Action/Reactions and Motivations:
- You frown and don’t make eye contact because you want to indicate to others you are sad and want help. Help from others you believe will make you feel better.
- You look down and walk slowly because you feel unworthy of being with others and this is a way of inviting others to console you. Support from others you believe will make you feel better.
- Your muscles are weak and you have no energy. This is a physical reaction designed to conserve energy and indicate rest is needed in order to get better.
Feeling: Anger
Action/Reactions and Motivations:
- You scold, insult and/or belittle the person who is making you angry. This you believe this will make you feel better because you believe forceful responses will result in the other person not doing the same action towards you again in the future.
- You raise your voice and shout to be heard. You believe a louder voice will get you heard. You feel powerless and therefore raising your voice will make you feel better as it is an indication of power and control.
- Your blood pressure increases and you get red in the face. This physical reaction takes place because your “fight” response has been activated as you believe standing up for oneself will make you feel better. You believe you need to fight for your honor, dignity, social standing and/or justice to make you feel better.
Feeling: Jealousy
Action/Reactions and Motivations:
- You see someone paying attention to “your” loved one who you believe you need in your life to make you happy. The person paying attention to him/her, you believe is a threat to your happiness and you want them to go away. This you believe will make the jealous feelings go away and you will feel better.
- You become angry towards the person you love for whom you are jealous. You believe that showing your displeasure you will make them push others away who are showing them attention. You fear losing them and that will make you feel worse.
- Your heart races because your fight and flight response has kicked in as you may need to fight for you honor because reduced honor will make you feel worse.
Feeling: Hopelessness
Action/Reactions and Motivations:
- You procrastinate because you are fearful of a negative outcome if you act. You believe if you do anything you could feel even worse.
- You drink alcohol because you believe it will make you feel better by numbing the hopeless feeling.
- You have low energy do not do anything because your body is conserving what energy it has in case it needs it later.
Feeling: Fear
Action/Reactions and Motivations:
- You back off because you believe distance will make you safer.
- You scream to show power and this you believe will make you safer and seem protected.
- Your heart races because your fight and flight response has kicked in as you may need to fight or flee your way out of this situation.
- You fingers become numb because your body is conserving blood in the extremities and directing it to where it thinks it will be needed more; your brain and core.